Jay's Corner

What’s next?

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard this question since I resigned, and every time I respond with “I’m making plans” or “I’m resting for now,” people look at me like I’m crazy, and I totally get it.

Logical human nature tells you that you must have everything figured out before you make your next move, and I believe I’m as logical as they come. But sometimes you need to take a bold step, and then figure things out as you go along.

I’ve spent the last 4 and a half years working my butt off; working day and night, working Christmas and New Year, working so much that my brother started calling my laptop my boyfriend. My work came before family, and it came before friends, and it was okay, until work started to erode my soul.

I promised myself a long time ago that I’d never be one of those people who dread weekdays and only really live on weekends. But this year I became one of of them. I don’t know how it happened, but I found myself ending each day feeling defeated and afraid for my future.

Then one day I fell ill at work and just laid down helpless for hours. As I struggled with the highs and lows of a fever, I heard a small voice whisper to me “This is how people die,” and I just knew it was time to get out. And get out I did.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’m at peace, and at the end of the day that’s what matters most. I have decided to take a risk on me, because my life is much too valuable to spend 50 hours a week miserable.

So what am I saying? Hard work is okay, but only as long as it feeds your soul and serves your purpose. Anything else will leave you with nothing but ashes in your hands. By all means think it through and make a plan, but don’t stay in any arrangement that strips you of your dignity and self worth. You deserve better than that.

We stay in situations that don’t serve us because we believe the lie that this is the best there’ll ever be, but that’s all it is, a lie. There’s always, always something better waiting at the other side of fear.

My Bible tells me in Proverbs 4:18 that my path will always shine brighter and brighter and things can only get better for me. On the strength of this promise, I have chosen to take a leap of faith and reach out for a better life, and I know without a doubt that it’s already mine.

So for everyone who has asked me what’s next and those who will still ask, here’s my answer: What’s next is my first Christmas away from my laptop in almost 5 years. What’s next is a delightful time of fun, laughter, jollof rice and chicken, time spent fully and completely with the ones I love. Sounds like a great plan to me.

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