To All My Sisters Who Have Wasted Time With The Wrong Man

Dear sister,
When a relationship ends, it breaks your heart, but more than that, it leaves you with many unanswered questions. One major question that many of us ask is “How am I going to reclaim my wasted time?”

In many ways, a broken relationship does feel like wasted time. You expected him to marry you but he didn’t. He spent 7 years dating you before he realized you weren’t the one. Then he married someone else after dating for just five months.

Or maybe he made you put your life on hold. We all make compromises for the ones we love. Maybe you gave him your hard earned money to invest in a business, or maybe you relocated just to be close to him. But then he left you and you feel cheated.

wasted time with the wrong man

What do you do when you’ve wasted time with the wrong man?

Before I answer that question, I’ll have you know that there are few people who have wasted as much time as I have with the wrong man. I “fell in love” with my childhood sweetheart when I was 13 and I didn’t get over him till I was 30.

He bounced in and out of my life like it was an amusement park but I held on to hope that he would marry me someday. He got married this year, and I wasn’t the bride. So now you know that I feel what you’re feeling.

So how do you make up for the time you wasted with the wrong man?

You don’t. You don’t make up for wasted time because you did not waste the time. “Waste” is used to refer to something useless, something that added no value and had no purpose. If you’re being fair to yourself, then you know that some value came from that time.

You loved and were loved in return, even if the outcome wasn’t what you expected. You learnt many lessons and grew mature. And if nothing else, that relationship taught you what you don’t want in a man.

Your time is never wasted. It might be used in a way you didn’t expect, but every moment spent on this earth is an investment that will yield returns in one way or another.

wasted time

I’m a firm believer in Romans 8:28 which says that all things are working together for good. So rest sister, it might look like you wasted time with the wrong man, but God is using those pieces to paint you a beautiful work of art.

Love always…


P.S: For all the gist about my 17 year relationship, get my book Love Letter to My Ex available in audioeBook and hard copy. You’ll love it!

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